Father Dougal McGuire.

The parochial house roof is leaking, and they need to raise some money…

Father Ted: God Almighty, that’s going to cost a fortune to fix. Where are we going to get the money? Think, Dougal, how can we raise some money?

Father Dougal: Hmmm….

Father Ted: Yes, I know. Aha! (gives knowing glance)

Father Dougal: Aha!

Father Ted: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Father Dougal: I think so, Ted. But now wait, I’m not sure…

Father Ted: What?

Father Dougal: I mean, it is a big step, and err, where are we going to get the guns?

Father Ted: (mystified) What are you talking about?

Father Dougal: Oh, wait a minute now — actually I might have been thinking about something different…

Father Ted: You thought we were going to rob a bank, didn’t you?

Father Dougal: I did, yeah!

Father Ted: Well, Dougal, this isn’t a Bruce Willis film. I was thinking more along the lines of a raffle.