Where Are We Going to Get the Guns?

Father Dougal McGuire.

The parochial house roof is leaking, and they need to raise some money…

Father Ted: God Almighty, that’s going to cost a fortune to fix. Where are we going to get the money? Think, Dougal, how can we raise some money?

Father Dougal: Hmmm….

Father Ted: Yes, I know. Aha! (gives knowing glance)

Father Dougal: Aha!

Father Ted: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Father Dougal: I think so, Ted. But now wait, I’m not sure…

Father Ted: What?

Father Dougal: I mean, it is a big step, and err, where are we going to get the guns?

Father Ted: (mystified) What are you talking about?

Father Dougal: Oh, wait a minute now — actually I might have been thinking about something different…

Father Ted: You thought we were going to rob a bank, didn’t you?

Father Dougal: I did, yeah!

Father Ted: Well, Dougal, this isn’t a Bruce Willis film. I was thinking more along the lines of a raffle.

Published by Christian Clay Columba Campbell

Christian Clay Columba Campbell is a Roman Catholic of the Anglican Use. As Senior Warden of the Cathedral of the Incarnation (Orlando, FL), he organised the process by which the parish accepted the Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum coetibus, petitioning to join the Catholic Church. The Anglican Cathedral is now the Church of the Incarnation in the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter. Personal queries should be directed to me at eccentricbliss dot com.

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