Our Lord’s Plan for the World

Father Dougal McGuire.
Father Dougal McGuire.

Father Ted: Sister Assumpta, you know we really are only up for the basic booze, fags, and rollerblading deal. I mean, the getting up early thing is great but — this is water.

Sister Assumpta: That’s right.

Father Ted: Alright, alright, having a bit of a laugh with the big thickos from the island. Where’s our real breakfast?

Father Dougal: Ted, I’d love a Pop-Tart.

Father Ted: Yes, Father Dougal likes his Pop-Tarts first thing in the morning.

Sister Assumpta: I really don’t think Pop-Tarts┬áhave any place in Our Lord’s plan for the world.

Father Ted: I think they have as much a place as anything else. Maybe Our Lord doesn’t take a personal interest in them, but I’m sure He delegates them to someone almost as important.

Father Dougal: What about… Frosties?

Father Ted: Again, same thing: He might not have come up with the idea, but He’d be the one Who’d give them the green light.

Father Dougal: Oh right. But if you take something like, say, Sugar Puffs, now or Lucky Charms…

Sister Assumpta: FATHERS, COULD YOU PLEASE! Could you please stop having that conversation, finish your breakfast, and come outside for your daily punishment.

Published by Christian Clay Columba Campbell

Christian Clay Columba Campbell is a Roman Catholic of the Anglican Use. As Senior Warden of the Cathedral of the Incarnation (Orlando, FL), he organised the process by which the parish accepted the Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum coetibus, petitioning to join the Catholic Church. The Anglican Cathedral is now the Church of the Incarnation in the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter. Personal queries should be directed to me at eccentricbliss dot com.

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