
Father Ted: Sister Assumpta, you know we really are only up for the basic booze, fags, and rollerblading deal. I mean, the getting up early thing is great but — this is water.
Sister Assumpta: That’s right.
Father Ted: Alright, alright, having a bit of a laugh with the big thickos from the island. Where’s our real breakfast?
Father Dougal: Ted, I’d love a Pop-Tart.
Father Ted: Yes, Father Dougal likes his Pop-Tarts first thing in the morning.
Sister Assumpta: I really don’t think Pop-Tarts have any place in Our Lord’s plan for the world.
Father Ted: I think they have as much a place as anything else. Maybe Our Lord doesn’t take a personal interest in them, but I’m sure He delegates them to someone almost as important.
Father Dougal: What about… Frosties?
Father Ted: Again, same thing: He might not have come up with the idea, but He’d be the one Who’d give them the green light.
Father Dougal: Oh right. But if you take something like, say, Sugar Puffs, now or Lucky Charms…
Sister Assumpta: FATHERS, COULD YOU PLEASE! Could you please stop having that conversation, finish your breakfast, and come outside for your daily punishment.